Declaration of Independence, July 4, 2006

For people out there who may be identifying with the feelings of Button Gwinnett, and the other signers of the Declaration of Independence in July, 1776, here is the Declaration of Independence edited to reflect your mood in July, 2006 . . .

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any presidential administration becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to reject it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under relative indifference to their rights, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide competent new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these United States in the second administration of George II; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of the United States [George II] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute power over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to the White House only.
He has called together political and legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved the intent of Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people to expect balance of powers;
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be heard; whereby the Legislative powers have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to incessant reminders of all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for acknowledging Judiciary oversight.
He has made Judges dependent on his advocacy alone, for the definition of their offices.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Discomfiture Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these United States, solemnly publish and declare, That these United States are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent people; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Rovian doctrine, and that all political connection between them and the State of government under George II, is and ought to be totally contested, with vigor and firm reliance; and to this declaration we mutually pledge to each other our Efforts, our Fortunes, and our Hearts and Minds, to an outcome in November, 2006, and again in November, 2008, that will bring peace and independence to a nation returned to the rule of laws, and not of men.